Single Parent.

Do you ever wonder why you bother?  Yet again, I feel like I’m right at the bottom of the pile on the list of priorities.

My husband works 7 days a week.  Yep, 7.  He insists that it’s so that he can pay for an amazing holiday next year which he has promised our daughter.  I’m sorry if I’m sounding like an ungrateful bitch right now but seriously, I may as well be a single parent.  I don’t remember ever being so lonely.  I spend a rare hour here or there in the company of friends but other than that, it’s just me and the kid, flying solo.

He gets to see our daughter plenty as he spends every evening with her but I work 3 jobs, one of which is in the evening.  We are literally like ships passing in the night. By the time we take the trip, close to 2 years will have been spent working all the hours under the sun, for a 2 week summer holiday.  Is it really worth it? Not in my opinion.

I asked if we could go out on a date night this evening to see this cool local ‘Play Writer’s Night’; you get to watch 4 drama extracts and then vote on your favourite.  The winning extract is then turned into a future production.  It sounded kinda cool and cost a few pounds for a ticket.  His response?  “I can’t afford it.”

I get that he wants to give our daughter the trip of the lifetime. I understand that he doesn’t want to disappoint her and obviously neither do I.  But I feel like I am just going through the motions of marriage without actually getting a husband out of the deal.

I’m trying to work 3 jobs, care for the kid, keep the house in order and manage my condition on my own.  I’m not gonna lie, this isn’t what I envisioned marriage to be.