I can feel it coming again. The darkness. Slowly, slowly creeping its way towards me. Not slammed like a tidal wave, this time. But almost like a game of “What’s the time Mr Wolf?” You don’t see the change happening but you can feel it. You can sense the shift in your perceptions and attitude.
I knew this was inevitable. The last few months have been absolute chaos. I haven’t had a second to myself and this constant demand for my time has meant I’ve gone higher and higher, running on nothing but adrenaline and caffeine. But the saying, “What goes up must come down” is rooted in truth. That’s the thing about cliques, they exist for a reason.
I’m lonely, that’s a fact. The summer holidays are too much time alone for me. I’m with The Kid obviously, but an adult needs adult company now and again before you start to forget who you are, other than ‘Mummy.’
My mood is not black; nowhere near but still I feel it. My desire to sleep. The heaviness to my limbs that makes me just want to crawl back into bed when that’s the last thing I’m able to do. My desire for time alone to recharge myself. My loss of desire to ‘do something’ is fading fast…