Glimmer

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The seemingly never-ending darkness of my mind,

on and on it tumbles,

Onwards I trudge, syrupy thick motions of life

dragging down my limbs with their relentless demands

But a glimmer in the darkness, alights my heart

A flash in the blackness, so bright and clear

A love so bright and indestructible, yet forbidden

For mere moments, the darkness recedes

All at once I can see.  The truth, clear as day

And then it is gone, the darkness returns

leaving nothing but a glimmer,

like dying embers, slowly fade to black.

I live for that glimmer, that small burst of light within the dark.

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Momentary Lapse of Reason…

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I have to ask myself this… When the fuck did I lose all respect for myself and more importantly, what the hell was I thinking?!?

It’s funny how at certain times in life, you allow things to happen that you would never normally tolerate.  Why?  This is a question I have been contemplating lately.  How is it that the phrase, “Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen” actually has substance?  Instead of realising how self-obsessed and egocentric a person’s actions are, I instead managed to make myself part of the problem – that I wasn’t good enough for them.  That my existence was an inconvenience to them.  Say what?!?

Thankfully, I now see the light and I realise just how dumb I was to tolerate the behaviour of certain others – not only to tolerate their behaviour but to accept blame, that their poor treatment of me was somehow my fault!  Seriously, what the fuck?  This is not me.  I don’t allow people to treat me like this but for some reason, 2015 has been a year when I lost my way, I forgot who I was and I forgot my worth.

However, there is no point dwelling on our mistakes.  We must merely learn from them and move forwards with our head held high and without a backwards glance…

But this wouldn’t go amiss…

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